Sandra Bullock is Eliminating the Competition

Sandra Bullock is a dirty whore liar. She makes crazy statements about how being fat is sexy (wrong!), and yet, she's still wicked hot and weighs a grand total of 3 1/2 pounds... wet... while wearing a suit of armor. I'm not sure how she got the battlewear to weigh less, but somehow she did.

"I go, 'Oh my God, I've got to lose weight so I can fit into this.' But I also go, 'I haven't been to the gym in a year. Do I want to go to the gym? No.' At some point I will start running again and I will get there," she said. "There's something sexy about a gut. Not a 400-pound beer gut, but a little paunch. I love that."

I think this is a crazy plan to get rid of all other thin, sexy actresses. First, get them all feeling good about their bodies. Second, stop them from going to the gym.





Third, send them all a year's worth of free Krispy Kreme donuts. Fourth, Sandra Bullock becomes the top grossing female star in the world... it's almost crazy enough to work. Quick, Jessica Alba must be warned!




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Bradley Cooper on Jennifer Aniston: “she’s simply a friend”

Bradley Cooper was asked at an event on Friday in Paris if he had a hot new romance with Jennifer Aniston, with whom he had a well documented dinner date in New York last week. He said that he worked with her and that they’re friends, but he didn’t exactly deny that he was out on a date with her. The way he words his statement makes it sound like there could eventually be a romantic relationship there, but that it hasn’t developed yet. He said “If someone says ‘hello’ to her, it’s [a] given [in the tabloid press] that he’s fallen in love with her.” It’s like he’s hinting that it could go somewhere, but saying they’re in the early stages yet and he’s not sure. At least that’s how I interpreted it:

First they reputedly flirted at a party. Then, June 18, they definitely had dinner together. So, what is going on between Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Aniston?

That was the question put to The Hangover star on Friday in Paris, where he had accepted an invitation from Louis Vuitton to be their guest at a menswear event. Told there had been talk that he and Aniston had been out together, Cooper replied with a laugh: “Who talked about it? It wasn’t me. It was someone else.”

In a more serious vein, Cooper, 34, said of Aniston (in French, which he speaks fluently from his 1996 exchange-student days): “She’s a friend of mine. Simply, simply, just a friend.”

He further clarified, “In America, its not like it is here. She’s someone who is super, super known. Famous. If someone says ‘hello’ to her, it’s given that he’s fallen in love with her. So, no. No. She’s a very, very interesting woman, but she’s simply a friend.

“We made a film together” – He’s Just Not That Into You – “but we didn’t have any scenes together. I got hired in at the beginning of the casting, and my part was solely with Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Connelley. Which isn’t bad at all.”

Next up for Hollywood’s hot new leading man – whose sequel to The Hangover won’t shoot until 2011 – is a reunion with another “good friend,” Jennifer Garner, in Valentine’s Day. Also starring Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba and Ashton Kutcher, the film begins production in September.

[From People]

Cooper was seen out on another lunch-type date with an unknown woman on June 22, and he’s been linked to Lake Bell after the two were seen looking “cosy” at an event - also last week. Is Cooper playing the field and will he ever be ready to settle down? I’m beginning to think that his date with Aniston wasn’t some kind of PR move, as I suspected after seeing a suspicious profile of him in People Magazine shortly afterwards. He’s a single 34 year-old guy whose Hollywood career is about to take off, of course he’s dating and having fun. At least Aniston is going out with a guy who doesn’t Twitter his every thought and make insinuating remarks to the press. Cooper is trying to remain classy about the whole thing, and I bet the “falling in love” part might come in time if he finds her so interesting. It was telling that he brought the L word up.

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Michael Jackson dies at age 50, from heart attack

According to multiple reports, Michael Jackson had a heart attack Thursday, June 25 in his home in Los Angeles. Paramedics were called to the house, and they arrived shortly before 12:30 p.m. Michael wasn’t breathing, so the paramedics began performing CPR. He was then taken, by ambulance, to UCLA Medical Center.

Around six p.m. tonight, TMZ confirmed Michael Jackson’s death. They claim Michael suffered cardiac arrest, and that the CPR performed on Michael at his home was unsuccessful. Michael’s body was taken to UCLA, where he was pronounced dead:

We’ve just learned Michael Jackson has died. He was 50.

Michael suffered a cardiac arrest earlier this afternoon at his Holmby Hills home and paramedics were unable to revive him. We’re told when paramedics arrived Jackson had no pulse and they never got a pulse back.

A source tells us Jackson was dead when paramedics arrived.

LaToya ran in the hospital sobbing, after Jackson was pronounced dead.

Michael is survived by three children: Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr., Paris Michael Katherine Jackson and Prince “Blanket” Michael Jackson II.

Jackson had 13 number one hits during his solo career.

[From TMZ]

Michael Jackson was one of the biggest celebrities in the world. He sold millions of albums, entertained millions - if not billions - of people, and inspired countless others. He is survived by his three children: Michael Joseph Jackson Jr., 11, Paris Michael Katherine Jackson, 10, (both with second wife Deborah Rowe), and Prince Michael Jackson II, 6. It was known that he was in poor health in the past few years, but it’s shocking and terribly sad that he died so young. Prayers to his family, his kids, and his fans. Rest in peace, King of Pop.

Hilary Duff in a bikini

Here's Hilary Duff on vacation in Hawaii yesterday, and maybe it's just the shoulders, but I have to ask, when did she stop caring?




I'm not saying Hilary looks bad, but when Britney Spears looks more toned than you, that's usually a sign to hit the gym. Or start FedEx-ing her Big Macs so you look better by comparison. Either one.


Ok, don't get me wrong, I'm never going to say no to a hot celebrity in a bikini. Ain't going to happen. Someone comes up to me and says, "Alex, would you like one of those," I don't hesitate, not even a "hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." Not my style. So when someone sent me Hilary Duff bikini photos from Hawaii, I got excited...then less excited. They're just so boring. Yes she's hot, yes it's tiny, yes she's in the water, but I'm letting out one long bored yawn. There's zero excitement coming from her. Even the ones where she's trying to smile, Hilary looks like she's in pain. Also, with her black bathing suit and black sunglasses, I'm pretty sure she's attending a beachside funeral. That's it, this is the death of fun and she in mourning. That's the only explanation for why these bikini shots suck so much. Boo to you, Hilary Duff and your depressing teasing ways.


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Olivia Munn is Topless...Sorta

I'm casting my vote for Olivia Munn as hottest geek alive. As the host of G4's Attack of the Show, she constantly talks about video games, dresses up in geek-fantasy costumes and was given a role in Iron Man2 because of it. Now, her photos of the July/August 2009 issue of Playboy have been released, and they're awesome... or as awesome as non-nude Playboy photos can be.




Still, this is a blow for geeks everywhere - if she can be a sex symbol and still know the different between Spider-Man and The Amazing Spider-Man, than so can you! ... But keep your shirt on until that moment, really, no one wants to see that now.



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Kardashian Bikini Time

Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian (the later who we have never talked about, surprisingly) were in Florida over the weekend, and did what they do best - nothing. The fat Kardashian and the short Kardashian put on bikinis, went to the beach, and gave everyone the privilege of looking at them. My favorite pic is the one with the dude holding the umbrella, because heaven forbid the girls get sun while wearing bathing suits at a beach. Also, here's a fun fact: that dude makes $95,000 a year. Thanks Kardashians, as always, you've made our world a better place.


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Denise Richards in a bikini

Here's Denise Richards in Maui with her kids this morning. Anyone else get the feeling her daughters live in perpetual fear of getting doused with hot coffee because mommy can't focus on the camera and hold a cup at the same time? I'm also pretty sure they're the only preschoolers who know to pop a Xanax when Denise gets a call on the road. "Aw, shit, it's her agent. Helmets, everyone!"


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Chris Brown ducks jail time in plea deal

Chris Brown avoided jail time today after pleading guilty to the felony assault of Rihanna on February 8. She was at the courthouse to testify if the plea deal wasn't accepted. CNN reports:

Under terms of the agreement, Brown will serve five years of probation and complete 180 days of community service.
Los Angeles Criminal Court Judge Patricia Schnegg said Brown could apply to have his supervised probation transferred to Virginia, where he maintains his legal residence. He also can complete his community service there, she said, but it would have to meet the court's standards.
"I want Mr. Brown treated as any other defendant who comes to this court," Schnegg said.
Brown must also undergo domestic violence counseling, she said. But the judge noted he has no prior criminal record.

Well, now that this debacle is officially over, the important thing to remember is at least the message wasn't sent to Chris Brown's young fans that it's okay to beat your girlfriend because you probably won't go to jail the first time.

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Shauna Sand completely topless

Here's Shauna Sand in Miami realizing she has to up the ante to keep the paparazzi focused on her because, seriously, who the fuck is she? Also, the occasional nip slip and non-stop wearing of bikinis is getting predictable as hell. At this rate, the only thing interesting Shauna can do is raise the lost city of Atlantis out of the sea. Then flash her tits at it.


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Gisele Bundchen Looks Good in Blue

Gisele Bundchen was at a launch for a new Pantene haircare line and ended up flashing the crowd a little bit of blue underwear awesome. What I think happened is someone told Gisele that her underwear was showing, so she pulled up her shirt to look. Hmmmmm, I might be able to use gullibility for evil. Hey Gisele, I think I saw an ant crawl into your bra, you better take it off. Is that a rash? You may be allergic to denim, best lose those jeans too. Actually, just strip down to nothing, I read a study that said clothes might give you cancer and it's just not worth risking it. Trust me, I'm a pretend doctor.


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